On social dancing in Paris - The "Why"?

Miss Smiley and I went to Paris this weekend. Before giving all the details on the salsa nights we went to, I thought I'd focus on our motivations. The plethora of reasons are listed below:

1) Hanging out with great salsa friends and celebrating a birthday

It was my friend K's birthday last week so this weekend felt like the perfect opportunity to go and eat cake! Lalita offered to put Miss Smiley and I up in her bijoux apartment in the 18th arrondissement and I simply could not refuse. Nor could Miss Smiley following a 3 minute selling pitch by yours truly! There's something about salsa friends that makes weekends-away amazing - you get to dance your heart out, talk about and compare your various experiences and spend more time hanging out than you would at a normal congress. You don't sleep much, but that's pretty normal for the average salsa addict. And you never have to worry about where you'll be dancing because it's the basis on which all plans are built!

2) Seeing and dancing with recently made salsa friends 

I have met a number of lovely Paris-residing salsa dancers at various congresses. While I am not personally very close to them and wouldn't organise trips with them, they are the sort of people I look forward to running into on a dance floor. So why not make the little trip over to Paris for a not so accidental run-in?

3) Dancing with other, unknown local partners

 For all those people who travel to congresses, there are a handful of absolute gems who don't. Or perhaps they simply go for a different type of congress (e.g. only small ones, only French ones, only Eastern European congresses). Any new dance floor is a source of talent and a source of untapped joy to be experimented with. The reputation of the salsa scene in Paris is such that we definitely believed that there existed a series of wonderful dancers who still needed to be tried and tested!

4) Testing the theory that the salsa scene in Paris is better than the salsa scene in London 

There is much debate as to where in Europe has the best salsa scene and dancers. The current thinking is that the best dancers can be found in Paris and in the Netherlands, with the most highly qualified teachers living in Milan. The London scene is also to be added to the list on the account of the fact that there are multiple salsa nights of some form or quality on every day of the week. The debate however focuses on how many good dancers there are, by which I mean how many dancers are smooth leads, with original moves and a unique sense of style without necessarily being professionals. Under any circumstance, one would need to caveat the comparison of the Paris and London salsa scenes with numerous side points. What we wanted to test here was the more subjective question: Are French dancers exaggerating when they talk about how brilliant their salsa scene is?

5) Attending famed party nights to see for ourselves whether their reputations are in line with reality 

Having numerous Parisian salsa friends, I had heard about a number of "great" events and thus wanted to test them out. On the schedule for the weekend was:

• Phil & Madj - An on2 elitist social in the 15th arrondissement 
• Festival de Palaiseau - Small festival half an hour away from Paris - A fully opportunistic choice 
• Barrio Latino - The famed Sunday afternoon venue 
• O'Sullivans - The best night in Paris according to serious on2 enthusiasts

6) Getting out of cold and rainy London 

It was raining. It was January. Why the hell not?

7) Eating good food 

Pastries, macaroons, flamkueche were shared and enjoyed by all. 

For those who don't know, flams are like pizzas but with a thinner base and less toppings. The original kind has a mixture of onions, lardons (bacon) and cheese. By choosing the "all you can eat" option, in the restaurant we went to, we got to try as many different wide-ranging toppings you wanted, even sweet ones. I think we ultimately ordered 12 flams, 4 of which were desert ones and that I didn't touch. Having eaten a quarter of a flam from each of the previous eight, I could no longer even think about eating another piece! On the plus side, we danced it off and were able to stay up until 5am without feeling remotely hungry!

8) Meeting up with non-salsa friends from childhood

This was actually the most disappointing part of the trip. Out of four friends I notified, only one made the effort to come out and see me, after changing the plan more than three times. Out of those who cancelled, one had a valid excuse, but the other two each led me to believe they were coming to see me, only to change their plans and opt out about half an hour before the chosen meeting time. While I admit that my weekend was salsa-friendly primarily structured around the dancing, I was awake and relatively free during the daytime when the non-salsa people like to come out and play. I usually only go to Paris about once a year and these guys do not (really) travel (in 6 years, one of them has made it to London once!). I had honestly thought that these friends whom I've known for over ten years would make less of an effort than some of the salsa dancers who I'd only met a couple of times! Not that I'm one to hold a grudge, but next time a salsa person needs to sleep on my couch (albeit still an imaginary couch for now), they will now probably take priority over those who have proved themselves to be less than reliable.

On strategies - Getting better dances

Salsa clubs, classes and socials, like all other group events, provide an interesting arena to watch people, to analyse them and to strategise.

Think about it. When you first started dancing and were but a beginner, what strategies did you use to get other dancers' attention, to prove that you were a worthwhile dance partner, that you wouldn't step on their feet? Practising such social strategies as to make one better integrate a group are social skills that can most probably be learnt on the dance floor and used off it. Or vice versa. Either way, there are useful social lessons that can be learnt from hanging out on a dance floor.

Take the beginner for example. Seeking social integration and acceptance is but the reflection of wishing to learn a skill that others have already mastered. Alternatively, it may just be that you are seeking acceptance by the other sex. Whichever it is, how might you go about it?

The right place at the right time

Edie the salsa freak theorised that you needed to best position yourself to capitalise on opportunities as they present themselves. How do you do this on the dance floor? Figure out what the grand entry and exit routes are to the dance floor and position yourself such that when people come off after a dance, they have to walk around and past you. These are generally the corners and the diagonals - somehow standing on the corner won't guarantee you a dance, standing one meter to the right or left of it seems to work a charm.

This is obviously much the same in life, if you position yourself in the paths of those who are going places, the odds are that you'll get swept up along with them, inspired to do something similar, or offered opportunities as they open up. The key is to be ready to recognise and accept the opportunities that come towards you, just as you would any partner, asking for the next dance.

Body language, smiling, and eye contact 

Body language, smiling and eye contact are obviously key too. I don't think I need to develop these points. Suffice to say that for dancers, swaying on the spot, dancing on their own and keeping their arms at waste level helps. If you don't look up and seek contact with others, it probably won't be forthcoming! There used to be this beautiful Eastern European girl in London (I haven't seen her in a while, perhaps she's still around) who would dance on her own, making grand, gorgeous gestures in the middle of a busy dance floor. If ever she was asked to dance, she would decline. Anyone else who was watching quickly got the point and remained on the sidelines, quietly fascinated. Apparently she was shy and lacked confidence. You couldn't tell from the way she was dancing, but somehow her failure to make any real contact with those around her guaranteed her quasi-solitude in the midst of a bustling crowd.

Making friends

So simple, yet so effective. On the dance floor as in life, making friends can be the key to success. Make friends with powerful or connected people, or in the salsa dancer's case, with better dancers, and you will find yourself climbing the ladder faster than you would have on your own. And all with a smile, some good banter and happy moments. Life really can be that easy!

Networking

On the broader scale, a new dancer is seeking acceptance, not just by individual peers, but by the larger group. Ever thought about improving your networking skills in the real world? Here's how on the dance floor: when you've had an amazing dance, think of someone else who would appreciate sharing this experience and help them enjoy it too! Play matchmaker on the dance floor! Ultimately, it doesn't really matter what level your friends are. If their levels don't match, the junior dancer will be grateful and owe you one. Just be careful to do a favour to the senior dancer next time. Think of it as a series of favours, a way to make those around you happy. Most dancers won't mind being subtly introduced and encouraged to dance with a beginner - we all started somewhere - just be careful not to consistently throw your beginner friends at your favourite professional - it may wear on his or her patience!

I'm sure I read somewhere that being better connected was better for your health. Or at least, it had a positive effect on people's smoking, gymming and eating habits. I'd like to believe that feeling connected to people on the dance floor does the same thing. And if nothing else, what goes around, comes around. Soon enough you'll find that people are making recommendations of their own for you. What you'll find may surprise you, as it did me. It would appear that I have a rather lower sense of self-worth on the dance floor since I am constantly surprised by the amazing level of the dancers that my friends recommend for me to dance with. All I can say is "wow" to my partner and "thanks" to my friends!

On Pearl Boy

A fellow dancer regularly comes out with pearls on salsa. Let’s call him “Pearl Boy” in case he comes out with any more and we need to refer to him again.

For context, Pearl Boy has been dancing for approximately two and a half years. He’s completely hooked on LA style salsa and has never danced any other style to date, nor does he yet seem interested in doing so. He is currently going through a rather lengthy phase in which he goes out dancing as often as he can. He is especially satisfied if he succeeds in dancing more than six nights in a row. Whenever possible, Pearl Boy attends local classes and is routinely sweaty and out of breath by the time some of the more relaxed dancers walk into the club. Most importantly, Pearl Boy is proud of his salsa obsession.

When I last saw Pearl Boy at a congress, he was in the midst of a crazy salsa workshop and party binge. Unfortunately since he is a man of extremes, Pearl Boy was rather tired after this particular experience. Indeed, he loved the congress and wishes to attend many more. However, he does not wish to miss out on the festivities of future congresses on account of being tired. He has thus declared that he will never again be attending classes at congresses. It’s a shame that he’ll be missing out on the excellent tuition available at these events, but that’s how it is.

At the same congress, Pearl Boy shared with me his strategy for getting better dances. Never ask a girl to dance at the beginning of the song, says Pearl Boy. No, you see, it is far more intelligent to ask the girl to dance in the middle of the song. Why, I ask? Well, says Pearl Boy, if you ask a girl to dance mid-song, and she turns out to be terrible, then you only have to dance with her for half the dance. If however, she turns out to be a great dancer, then you can ask her for another one as soon as the first one ends, thus granting yourself a dance and a half with said fabulous dance partner!

That is definitely a strategy I hadn’t heard before. Normally dancers are happy to sit back and watch for a song, absorb their surroundings, appreciate the music and seek to better understand the geography of the dance floor. Not so for Pearl Boy. He loves to dance so much (and thinks he's so brilliant) that he can’t stand the idea of watching a whole song go by without being on the dance floor for at least half of it!